Tuesday, October 22, 2013

the One Day Challenge

          The One Day Challenge is to focus on today.  Be who you want to be today.  Don't let yesterday hold you back, or worry about tomorrow.  Just focus on the now.

It seems in life there there are always things I'm trying to improve upon.  I want to be a better daughter, a better sister, a better friend, a better wife, and a better mother.  The one theme that blows through it all is that I want to be better.  I sort of have an imaginary me in my head.  The perfect me.  And instead of hate her, I look up to her.  I want to be more like her.  Some days I wish I spent less time checking Facebook on my phone and more time (maybe even just 10 minutes) sitting at the table and painting.  Painting is so much more substantial.  Sometimes I wish I had a cleaner house.  Sometimes I wish I never lost my gentleness with my children, or yelled in our home.  The perfect lady/me in my head does these things, and for some reason I don't even try.  It's like I've just consigned myself to just being 'okay'.  I sway between feelings of thinking I should just accept who I am and wishing I would try harder.  It seems I spend my days wishing.

I find it tiring to berate myself at night before bed for not being perfect.  Really a lot of the things the 'perfect me' is doing in my head aren't impossible.  I wish I made exercising a priority, so why don't I?  I wish I were the type of person who had an organized schedule for her day, so why not?  I wish I would speak in kinder tones to my children no matter what they do, and that's not impossible.  I realized it's the guidelines for my goals that need to change to make the difference.  I think deciding to make all of these changes all at once and doing them well for the rest of my life would be a mountain to swallow, and it's probably not quite possible.  No wonder it's daunting.  So let's just work on today.  

Do not expect to become perfect at once.  If you do, you will be disappointed.  Be better today than you were yesterday, and be better tomorrow than you are today."
-Lorenzo Snow

(pssst, you can find a neat printable of this quote here!)

So this is where the challenge comes in.  I want to be perfect just for one day.  And if I mess up, I will just keep trying.  I want to be perfect for a moment.  And then the next moment and the next.  And I will just keep trying.  My goal is to stop wishing and to start moving.  My goal tomorrow is to wake up and make a list of all of the things I really really want to do, and accomplish what I really want to accomplish.  My goal is to be the woman I really want to be.

I want to make music a big part of our home.  So I will.  I want to read that book that has been sitting on my shelf for ages.  So I'll do it.  I want to stop feeling guilty about everything and try to be more confidant.  So let's start.

This post is dedicated to Matilda, who loved some seeds and flowers grew.

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